Moving to a new place usually comes with a lot of expectations about what your new life will look like, and the perfect job/partner/house/social group that will define that new, perfect life. But in order to find your tribe, you need to leave your pride (and sometimes your dignity) at the door, and be the initiator of your own social life. The bottom line? You need to hang out with lots and lots of people to find the ones you click with. This is the level of shamelessness that building a social life from scratch requires. Want to be friends?” to a woman I met in the bathroom of a Taylor Swift concert. I have actually said, “I like your shirt. That barista you’ve got a good rapport with? You need to ask them what they do for fun (and see if you can tag along). That person you chat with after yoga? You should definitely see if they want to grab lunch after class one day. That neighbor whose car has a bumper sticker you agree with? Invite her over for tea.
When people ask me how to do it, I always say the same thing: you’ve got to be ridiculously, consistently, comically aggressive in your efforts to connect with people.
Be almost comically aggressive in your efforts to make friends.
